Your ad has now been posted for a little while.  Are you receiving responses?  If not, you may want to return to your ad and add a picture, if you have not done so!  Or just maybe become proactive and begin to read and answer other ads from your target group.

Before you respond to an inquiry, carefully analyze the ad.  Review your own goals and the type of person you are seeking.  Boost your own confidence by reminding yourself that you have good likeable qualities and that you have a lot to offer in a new relationship.

Don’t search for someone just like the person you had in your last relationship.  Also don’t try to find someone who cooks just like ‘dear ole mom’ – today’s dating scene and internet or personal ad dating is different.  Have a sense of humor and know that not everyone that you may correspond with is playing with a full deck!  Take one day at a time and don’t get discouraged if you don’t get replies or responses immediately.

Okay, you have picked out a possible respondent.  Now what?  Get a cup of coffee, take a few deep breaths and formulate a response.  Remember to go slow.  Begin to chat with the individual, telling them about activities you like, things you do in your daily life, etc.  Always be honest about feelings and backgrounds, because you want your new friend to be honest with you.  However, you want to be vague as far as identifying personal details in the beginning.  Never reveal such identifying details as exactly where you live or give a home telephone number.  It is better to correspond for a while before giving out this information.

You could talk about your job, then ask what they do.  You could mention that you went hiking last weekend and ask how they spent their time.  You might say that your son, daughter or grandchildren were visiting and ask about their family.  If you have a pet, you could give details about him or her.  The idea is to get an exchange of ideas going, to see what common interests surface.

Don’t make the mistake of one of my correspondents.  He had a good internet profile, with possible common interests.  However, he responded to my ad with “Nice body.  Want to come over to my house for beer Friday night?”  His response left me cold.  Wonder why!